Ah, well…since I’m here all alone… (sniffle, sniffle)
…racking these posts up all by myself…

In response to Cece’s request–just for you, Steph (everybody else look away).

In July of 2004 I was silly enough to enter The Worst Pitch contest on the community board of a certain category publisher. (It was really great fun!!).
It involved coming up with The Worst Pitch an editor could possibly get during one of those author/editor conferences.
And I was the worst of the worst.

And on a lighter note (I do play them–often!)…

I’m thinking of having a giveaway. A free download of Incubus to some interested reader out there.

Haven’t worked out all the details.
I guess first I need to know if there ARE any interested readers out there!

Hello?
I think you’re out there. I can hear you breathing.
And my counter shows I’ve had nearly 250 hits–and only about 240 of those are mine.

I’ll work out the details and post ‘em here soon. Stay tuned!

It’s nearly the end of June.

IT’S NEARLY THE END OF JUNE!

Something about my outlook on life seems to be changing. I used to notice this sort of thing only on birthdays (another YEAR gone by?? ) and New Year’s Eve (another YEAR gone by?? ).

But here it is, the end of June, and I’m thinking, “this year is more than half over! What have I done??!”
Intellectually, I realize that accomplishments don’t necessarily make the person. And I’m THRILLED to finally see a book of mine available.
But shouldn’t I have climbed Everest this year? Swam with the dolphins? Watched the sun rise over Acadia? Written even one paragraph, one SENTENCE, that will live long after I’ve gone?

The year is more than half over. What have you done?

Ah, well…the battle lines are still being drawn, so nothing wrong with a little discussion–even if I’m NOT a member of RWA (originally intended to stand for Romance Writers of America).

The ‘battle’, for those who don’t haunt the websites of ‘romance’ writers, has to do with this high-powered organization suddenly coming up with new ‘guidelines’ that seem to restrict a large portion of their own membership.

I won’t even get into the graphics argument (at the moment). Suffice to say that the lovely painting that graces the cover of my book (see Incubus) would probably not be allowed.

The new definition of ‘romance’ is also interesting. A ‘love-focused story’ is not technically to be considered a romance. It must also have an ‘emotionally satisfying ending’.
Hello?
Doesn’t that leave out trivial little stories like Romeo and Juliet? How about Wuthering Heights? The romance between Rhett and Scarlett? And for those who enjoyed the movie ‘Titanic’–uh-uh, that’s out too, folks. A bittersweet story cannot be considered a romance.

Apparently, many paranormals are also out (romance must be between two PEOPLE), menages, etc. OUT..

Not to mention the use of certain words, most of them with four letters, that’ll earn you a nasty slap on the wrist and possible de-linking from the sacred site (gasp!). Even the new erotica group, ’sanctioned’ by the RWA, was forbidden to use the word ‘erotica’ in their NAME.

According to the RWA, this is not meant to censor anyone in any way.

Well, I’m sorry, but if it looks like dung, smells like manure, and you’re spreading it on the lawn, it’s shit.

I am a Black person. I’ve known discrimination. I am a woman. I’ve known discrimination. I am a tad overweight (love relative words like ‘tad’). I’ve known discrimination. I know it when I see it, smell it, get slapped in the face by it.

It’s usually the by-product of fear and ignorance, and it’s an ugly thing, and pretty easy to recognize. Doesn’t matter how you color or justify it.

Pssst! RWA? Your job is to provide services for your members. The members who PAY you. You have no business being the ‘morality police’.

And if you want to commit suicide by alienating the writers and readers of erotica, the fastest-growing ‘romance’ sub-genre out there, I’d say you were writing your own tragic ending.

“Raine!!”
(little Raine pulls up short in her mad dash through the house). “Yes, mom?”
“Stop running through this house with those scissors! You’ll trip and fall and put your eye out!”
“Um…mom? Couldn’t I put it out just as well by walking and tripping and falling?”
“Just do as I say. I know best. When you grow up, you can make your own decisions.”

* * * * *
“Listen, Raine. A college degree is nice and all that, but what you REALLY wanna do is find a decent guy, get married, and settle down. Have kids, so you’ll have somebody to take care of you in your old age.”

“Um…suppose I never FIND a decent guy? And I don’t think dodging the nursing home bullet is really the right reason to have kids…”

“Trust me. I’m older and wiser. Git yourself a man. You don’t wanna be one of those sad women who keeps cats.”

* * * * *

“Ya got a good government job, Raine. What’s with all this writing crap?”
“I like to write. People tell me I’m good at it.”
“They’re just being nice. Git your head out the clouds—and git a man. How many cats you got in this place now??!”

* * * * *
“Ms. Weaver. We love your style, your voice. Excellent plotting, wonderful characters. But you need to work on their internal conflicts. Page 25, for example…”

“Page 25? The scene where the heroine is feeding her cat??!”

“Yes.”

“But…but she’s just feeding her cat!”

“Ah, yes—but WHY is she feeding her cats? Because she’s dreaming of a hero to rescue her? Because of her sad childhood in the projects? Because her father didn’t show enough affection? The reader wants to know!”

Raine:
* * * * *
“Raine, you don’t want to write that—that erotica-porno stuff!! People will think you’re a nasty person, and no self-respecting New York publisher would DREAM of taking you seriously!!”

I am running with scissors, on my way to feed my cats, and think I could manage with one eye if I had to, thank you very much…

My first published work, INCUBUS, is now available at LOOSE ID PUBLISHING!!!

These are the wee hours of morning. The time when most people are sleeping, kitties are winding down, and third-shift government employees have escaped the asylum for yet another day.

I’ve just paid my nightly visit to the Loose Id Publishing site. And lo and behold, not only is my cover being presented, but there’s a price, a few short reviews–and an excerpt.

Now, I thought I knew every word, every comma, every PERIOD of this piece. Lord knows I edited it enough! But I’m reading this excerpt of my story in my style, and all I can think is…
“Who wrote THAT??!”

It’s not BAD, mind you–just seemed completely FOREIGN to me.

Wonder if this happens to everyone who first sees their work in print?
Please tell me it does.
I’d hate to think the asylum has finally gotten the best of me.