Howdy. Savannah here. For those who might be new, I’m Raine’s alter-ego, the evil twin, the doppleganger, the–yeah, okay the BITCH. :twisted:
Raine and a friend are busy doing agent searches together. It’s a sucky, but necessary, part of the business.
I’ve been listening to them very carefully. And I noticed that, inevitably, whenever one of them hemmed or hawed or hesitated, the other would give a little push, reminding the other, “all they can say is NO.â€
Yeah, well, pardonez-moi, but that’s NOT all they can say. And deviant that I am, I came up with a few ideas for OTHER, more INTERESTING responses from agents:
1) “Although your ms was not suitable for our agency, my parakeet Petey is finding it quite useful in lieu of carpetting.” :thumbsup:
2) “In response to your follow-up question as to WHY I passed your ms on to my partner in the agency–it was because I thought it better suited to his current taste. Yes, it’s true that he died some two years ago, so he may be a little slow about responding.” :shock:
3) “Apologies for the lengthy reply time. I’ve been SO busy, I’ve taken to reading mss while sitting on the john. And I assure you that your ms, now before my very eyes, will soon be behind me.” :moon:
4) “Ahhh-ha-ha-haaa!! I love an author with a sense of humor! That made my day! Now I’m waiting with baited breath for your REAL query…” 
5) “I found your query to be nearly as impressive as your talent for name-dropping. So you’re the fourth cousin twice-removed of my star author’s hairdresser, eh? Well, it may interest you to know that said author dropped me like a stink bomb two days ago in favor of another agent. Snip, snip.” 
6) “Thank you for your interest in our agency. Unfortunately…Oh, hell. I can’t do this anymore. Today is the anniversary of the day I founded this agency. I’ve been placating people for 20 years. And I know my co-workers think my behavior is a result of menopause and a cheating husband–but they’re wrong. Wrong, I tell you! It’s because I’m SICK OF IT! I CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE!! You! You, with that weapon you call a laptop! Never, EVER send another letter to this address–got it? There will be consequences. I’ve got your return address. I know where you live, lady. Don’t let me have to come after you. And if anything should happen to me–or my poodle–within the next, say, eighty years or so, I’ve got the DNA from the saliva on your envelope in a safe-deposit box, along with a letter to the police! DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME??! AM I GETTING THROUGH?????!!! :poof:
And best of luck in placing your work elsewhere, Sincerely…
7) “I have wonderful news! When I read your query, I was moved to shout, ‘Dear God! Jane Austen is turning over in her grave!!’ One of my screenwriters overheard, picked up on the idea–and the resulting slasher/horror movie ‘REVENGE OF THE JANE’ will be released this fall!! Unfortunately, your ms does not suit our needs at this time…” 
8) “I regret that your partial submission was in such poor condition when returned to you. I assure you it was not riddled with bullet holes when it left our agency, and we assume no responsibility for the vagaries of the Postal Service (you know how those people are).” :uzi:
9) “Thank you for informing me that I may consider this manuscript disposable. I wholeheartedly agree.” 
I think it’s there. I think you KNOW it’s there.
Hidden. Secretive. Maybe even scary. But it’s there.
I think every author–possibly every person–has one.
THE FORBIDDEN BOOK.
I have three of them, tucked very quietly, very carefully away.
They are the books I don’t write. The books WE don’t write.
They’re not the demanding stories. They’re not the children who throw tantrums, or insist on misbehaving when you’re busy with other things.
They’re the children who sit quietly in the corner. You feel their eyes. Large. Wide. Infinite. Watching you.
The Forbidden Book. It’s the one you don’t write because you know it won’t sell, even if you like the premise. It’s the one that’s so brutally honest it silently hurts. The one that’s not quite politically correct, and you know New York won’t touch it. The one that’s so fringe, you’re afraid nobody else will ‘get it’. The one that makes you shift uncomfortably in your seat. The one you already know the words to, but you’ve deliberately put them out of your mind, like a song you’re trying to forget.
Maybe we all have good reasons for not writing The Forbidden Book. Maybe your book is all about you, the REAL you, and it’s too painful. Too personal. Maybe it’s the one you’re sure your editor/agent/family wouldn’t like, or it’s in a genre you’re embarrassed to approach. Maybe it’s too fantastic. Too real. Too dream-like. Too raw. Maybe it’s about love, or hate, or disappointment. Or death.
But you have a forbidden book. You know you do.
There are bits and pieces of it in the things we DO write–diaries, blogs, novels, memoirs. But barely a touch, an occasional nibble at the edge. We’re aware of it even as we avoid it, tell ourselves we can’t quite get there. There’s just a taste, a brief scent of it as we gladly hurry away.
But we know it’s there. KNOW it.
Should that book ever be written?
It could become a best seller. Because it’s genuine. Real.
Or, it might explain the hidden ‘you’ to those who mistakenly think they know you. (This may or may not be a good thing!). :poof:
Or, you could write it, thinking you’ll get it out of your system, and leave it to rot in a drawer.
Don’t fool yourself.
It won’t go away. Can’t. It will haunt you forever, like the shadow you cast on the wall.
I intend to write my three books–one day. Hopefully one day soon.
How about you?
NOT my favorite day of the week. But this one is, at least, interesting. :razz:
Cece has a wonderful review with Scarlett Grier, star and heroine of Wolfe’s Gate. Everything you wanted to know about werewolves, but were too shy to ask. :mrgreen:
And check out her new review on the Enchanted in Romance site for Dancehall Diaries: Lynette. I’ve read it. It is HOT!! :razz:
Otherwise–hang on! Friday is coming! :thumbsup:
I’m sitting here in my favorite Borders, watching tiny dust particles dance in slices of sunlight. Waiting. I’ve been waiting for nearly an hour now, nursing a cup of coffee–black–and a small danish. And although it gives me a chance to look over some of the paperbacks I’ve picked up, I’m still irritated. My interview is late, and I’m sure I was specific about the time. 
Just as I’m about to leave, I see her coming. Even if I hadn’t, I would’ve known by the sound of bodies turning and the low murmur of men’s voices.
Disa had entered the room.
She was in little-girl pink today, in a dress that showed long lengths of leg and heels that would make my nose bleed. But she’s all smiles as she sits at my table, ordering an expresso from the waiter who trampled several patrons to get to her and left drool on the table in his wake.
“Am I late?”
I bare teeth in something resembling a grin, trying to be professional. “No problem. I haven’t seen you since I finished writing WOLFE’S GATE for the HOWL anthology. You’re looking well.”
Disa continues to smile. I’ve stated the obvious, of course, so why should she return the compliment? She parks a tiny pink purse on the table before me. “We’ll have to make this quick. I’ve got other plans.”
“I am a professional,” I mutter, flicking open my notebook. “I am, I am…” :uzi:
“You said something about your readers getting to know me?”
“Yes. Let’s start from scratch, shall we? Sooo…Disa. I hear you’re a slut.” (more…)
I was about to write a blog on the new, just-released special edition DVD of Cinderella. Cinderella, the harmless little fairy tale that may have done more damage to the female psyche than any other in history. :shock:
So, I’m writing my little notes, when I suddenly get that funny feeling. You know the one–the one where you feel like somebody’s watching you, but you know there’s nobody else in the room? :poof:
So when he spoke, yes, I confess–keyboard hit glass of ice water, and damn near got my chocolate bar as I almost jumped out of my skin.
“I hear you’ve been writing again.” The deep, rich tones of the familiar voice poured over me. “I hear you’ve written a story about a friend of mine.”
A moment passes before I can speak. Although I know he can be as quiet as death on a still summer night, he manages to surprise me sometimes. “Gabriel.”
“Hello, Raine.”
I relax into the breathlessness I always feel around him. He’s filling the chair before me, sporting his dark glasses and thin cigar, and his long, black coat falls away from his hard body like a cape. “It’s good to see you, Manning. You look…damn, you look good.”
“Back atcha.” He holds the cigar between his teeth, lightly rubbing the bare shadow of a beard with the back of his fingers–the day’s growth that’s there, I’m sure, because he knows I like it there. “Gray sends his regards.”
Even I, knowing them both well, am slightly stunned. “You know Grayson?”
“Sure. We met…let me think…about 600 years ago. Give or take a century.”
If he weren’t so damned charming, I’d be scared witless by now. “I–I didn’t know you two were…”
“You get a kick out of writing about these ‘forbidden’ subjects, don’t you?” He removed the cigar, pointing it at me and giving me that rakish half-grin that makes the bones in your body melt. I wait, watching. He’s been drawing in smoke for three minutes, but none of it comes out when he speaks. “I like a woman who’s not afraid to take chances. But you be careful, ya hear? Wouldn’t want to see anything happen to you.”
“Happen to me? You don’t think Gray would–”
“No, no. Grayson’s a fine, old-school gentleman, even if he is…well, you know.”
“A werewolf?” (more…)
Ah, I love to see good things happening!
First of all–my wonderful webmistress has posted not only the cover of my new release HOWL, but a nice little excerpt from WOLFE’S GATE, my contribution to the anthology. Check it out!!
Rumor has it the book may be released on Tuesday, October 11th (but you didn’t hear it here…).
Secondly, click here to catch a preview of Cece’s upcoming release, ONCE IN A BLUE MOON—-including the hottest cover I’ve ever seen anywhere!!! :razz:
But it’s byob (bring your own bib).
And lastly, to peek at a couple of excerpts from the other stories in HOWL, click on the websites of my talented co-authors, Jet Mykles, and Jeigh Lynn.
HOWL looks interesting, even to me. It’s fascinating to see how three different authors handle the same subject!
p.s.
The cover has also been posted on the Loose Id Coming Soon site.
And I’m still new enough to laugh when I see my name on a book! :grin:
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