December 18, 2005
PLEASE HOLD…
Does everybody hate being put on HOLD as much as I do??
I’m not talking about the quick switch from one desk to another, like one window opening as another closes stuff. I’m not talking about not being proactive. And I’m not talking about sitting on your butt, expecting things to be handed to you.
I’m talking about seriously searching for answers, help, avenues of progress. You know you’ve studied, done the homework, found the right place, dialed the right number.
But for some reason, you find yourself waiting on HOLD.
I hate waiting. It’s not my strong suit. And on the occasional bad day/week/month, I feel like I’ve been on HOLD my whole life. :neutral:
Of course, there are often good reasons for being put on HOLD. Maybe you’ve got the wrong department after all. Maybe you belong somewhere else. Maybe you’re not really ready for what you’re asking for. Or maybe you’ve gotten your answer and didn’t HEAR it, because you haven’t listened to the tape carefully.
But there you are—on HOLD, listening to the 1001 String Orchestra as they play, “If It Takes Forever, I Will Wait For You…” :nonono:
And that’s what Hell really is, y’know. Being on HOLD in a tiny room with non-stop elevator music and small chunks of fruitcake the only thing to keep you going.
Purgatory? That’s when you’re put on HOLD without even the benefit of the music. Just silence. Like floating in space. You don’t even know if you’re still connected, and after a while you shout pointlessly into the phone, beginning to panic, trying to tell someone you’re still alive. You’re actually relieved when some sainted soul silently pulls the plug on you.
I can imagine the messages in my head…
“This is the Career Department. Can I be of assistance today?”
“Yes, I’m trying to find my way to a full time writing career. I’ve been working hard, sending stuff out, polishing my craft, and I’ve got all kind of paperwork here, and—”
“Please HOLD.” :roll:
“Good morning, may I help you?”
“Yes, I’ve been on HOLD for a while now. I’ve done a lot of shopping around, and have a pretty good idea of what I want. I’ve been looking for the right man, and…”
“Please HOLD.”
“Hello, may I help—”
“Now look, I’m tired of this holding and being transferred from place to place crap. I want—”
“Please HOLD.”
Minutes pass. Hours. Eons. But it’ll be worth it if I can just reach the right place! Finally, a mechanical voice relieves me of my misery…
“You have been timed out. Thank you for your interest. Please consult us again in your next incarnation…………………” :wtf:
I don’t know about you, but my gut instinct after waiting on HOLD for too long is to hang it up.
But for the moment, I’m holding the line.
For the moment.



December 18th, 2005 at 4:20 pm
(((aww, hon))) I’m sensing a lot of subtext frustration here, so let me give you a big ole hug.
You did give me a good chuckle on being put on hold, tho. I so know the feeling. To quote Jay-Z: “I got no patience, and I hate waiting.”
lol.
All things, in good time, hon.
December 18th, 2005 at 6:44 pm
You just described my life :dork:
December 18th, 2005 at 10:08 pm
All things, in good time, hon…
Thanks, Jaq.
Actually, now would be a good time. :neutral:
December 18th, 2005 at 10:12 pm
{{{Ames}}}.
Just keep swimming…just keep swimming… :waving:
December 19th, 2005 at 12:37 am
You know what you gotta do when life gets you down?
–I don’t wanna know what you gotta do–
HOLD?
it sucks, don’t it? I can SO relate. (wow this is soooo grammatically incorrect I should be ashamed!)
December 19th, 2005 at 1:13 am
No sweat, Michelle.
Good grammar doesn’t count when you’re on HOLD.
Hell, BREATHING doesn’t count when you’re on HOLD… :nonono:
December 19th, 2005 at 1:30 am
We sure both know about being on hold. Shall we bang heads against the old wall together? Then we can commiserate about something else besides the eternal wait.
Chin up, feet tucked in.
Hugs,
Suzanne
December 19th, 2005 at 3:49 am
Suzanne, my good friend in fruitcake & elevator music.
You have been far more patient than I could ever imagine being.
Somebody’s gotta answer soon. :???:
December 19th, 2005 at 4:18 pm
I’m sorry you’re on hold, Raine, but I gotta tell you, this post was hysterical! You really nailed the whole being on hold thing perfectly. Listen, with your talent and wit, I can pretty much guarantee you that the wait won’t be as long as you think.
HOLD just a while longer, kiddo.
December 19th, 2005 at 6:13 pm
I’m sorry you’re on hold. If it makes you feel any better, you’re not alone. I’m in the next room. We could always tap on the wall to each other.
December 19th, 2005 at 7:26 pm
>>We could always tap on the wall to each other.
Maybe Morse Code will make a comeback :razz:
And um as long as I’m swimming here and this is my demented mess of a questionable fantasy can I swim in a bottle of scotch? :lmao:
December 20th, 2005 at 3:17 am
Thanks, Daisy. :oops:
December 20th, 2005 at 3:19 am
Jordan, it DOES make me feel better! :yesyesyes:
HOLD can be a lonely place to be.
December 20th, 2005 at 3:28 am
Cece and Jordan, just for you: :waving:
(It’s Morse Code for “PLEASE HOLD”)
December 20th, 2005 at 12:17 pm
:lmao: You NUT!
December 20th, 2005 at 6:23 pm
LOL!:lmao: