Dear Mastercard/ Visa/ CapitalOne/ Discover/ Gas Company/ AT&T/ Hospital/ AOL/ Recording Angel of Death:

I know how busy all of you are handling various disgruntled customers. And I’m well aware that English is one of the most difficult languages to learn.

I was hoping, however, that you could explain the logic of having a person who doesn’t speak English manning your Customer Service telephones.

I’m not referring to someone with a bit of an “accent”. I’m talking someone who probably recently arrived from the Zeta Reticuli binary star system. And I fail to see how it could be considered “good customer service” if your employee and I have to stop every five seconds because one of us is saying, “Huh?” or “What?”

I certainly support equal employment opportunities for all. But I don’t think you’re prepared to pay the medical bills of a financially strapped single woman who opens her statement, finds she’s been triple-charged for a repair service, and can’t get your representative to understand that she’s having a heart attack about it.

Regards,
~~Raine

P.S.~
If that conversation was taped for customer satisfaction purposes, yes—I meant every word I said.