Just because I loved it, lol—and because it’s not a huge exaggeration! 
@ +70 degrees
Texans turn on the heat and unpack the thermal underwear.
People in Ohio go swimming in the Rivers.
@ +60 degrees
North Carolinians try to turn on the heat.
People in Ohio plant gardens.
@ +50 degrees
Californians shiver uncontrollably.
People in Ohio sunbathe.
@ +40 degrees
Italian & English cars won’t start.
People in Ohio drive with the windows down.
@ +32 degrees
Distilled water freezes.
Lake Erie water gets thicker.
@ +20 degrees
Floridians put on coats, thermal underwear, gloves and woolly hats.
People in Ohio throw on a flannel shirt.
@ +15 degrees
Philadelphia landlords finally turn up the heat.
People in Ohio have the last cookout before it gets cold.
@ +10 degrees
People in Miami all die.
Buckeyes lick the flagpole.
@ 0 degrees
Californians fly away to Mexico .
People in Ohio get out their winter coats.
@ -10 degrees
Hollywood disintegrates.
The Girl Scouts in Ohio are selling cookies door to door.
@ -25 degrees
Polar bears begin to evacuate the Arctic .
Ohio Boy Scouts postpone “Winter Survival” classes until it gets cold
enough.
@ -30 degrees
Mount St. Helen’s freezes.
People in Ohio rent some videos.
@ -40 degrees
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
Buckeyes get frustrated because they can’t thaw the keg.
@ -45 degrees
Microbial life no longer survives on dairy products.
Cows in Ohio complain about farmers with cold hands.
@ -60 degrees
ALL atomic motion stops (absolute zero in the Kelvin scale).
People in Ohio start saying, “Cold ’nuff for ya?”
@ -100 degrees
Hell freezes over.
The Cleveland Browns win the Super Bowl! :D
Boy, did I stumble into a king-sized plothole this weekend.
There I was, cruising along in my little revisionmobile, taking in the sights, stopping to buy a descriptive phrase here, pick a flowering adverb there. I’d driven this road a couple of times before, so I was sure there weren’t any BIG surprises to be found. :whistle:
And suddenly, as I stopped for a swig of icy-cold Coke—it happened.
A huge, gaping chasm of a plothole tore the road apart, right in front of me, and I took a header.
I have no idea how it happened. In a plot featuring a countdown to a special event, the climax of the whole novella, how in the world did I manage to skip a whole DAY?! 
Yeah, I’m already working on a rescue plan. I may need the Jaws of Life to pry me out of this wreck, but I’ll survive.
Next time I’ll just pay more attention to the damn exit numbers. :(
It’s early this past Saturday afternoon.
After making the morning grocery rounds, I’ve settled in front of the television with a quick lunch, after which I plan to do some writing.
I don’t really expect to find anything special showing—it is Saturday afternoon, after all. But the tv can keep me company while I put away the sandwich, at least.
I turn the television on, and after watching the Weather Channel for a couple of minutes…I get an urge. An urge to see something I hadn’t been thinking about, hadn’t seen in a long time, but would really like to watch.
John Carpenter’s movie version of “THE THING”.
I actually say the words out loud to myself. “Boy, I’d like to see “The Thing”.
Before I even think about what I’m doing or why, I punch in the number of the Sci-Fi Channel (something else I hadn’t watched in a long time).
And there it is, just starting. John Carpenter’s version of “The Thing”.
My reaction? A little startled at first. But my very next thought was, “how very, very COOL!”
The little unexpected, inexplicable things that add a bit of spice to life.
I really, really enjoyed that movie. :)
Bowden (character from current wip): You know it’s my story. It’s mine. I’m the best thing in this story.
Raine (following long-suffering sigh): We’ve been through this. YOU ARE A SECONDARY CHARACTER. Deal with it.
B: It’s wrong and you know it. Your hero might be my buddy, but I’m the flash in this manuscript. The antihero. The porcupine with the soft underbelly and boyish charm.
R: He’s prettier.
B: I’m more intense!
R: He kills more people.
B: My past is more tragic.
R: He knows how to treat women.
B: You handed my woman over to another vampire! What kind of shit is that?!
R: You can always take her away from him.
B: (long pause) Really?
R: We’ll see.
B: I’ll need to make it violent. Lots of blood, amputated limbs, evisceration—the works.
R: I’ve put it in my notes. Can I get back to the bloody banquet scene now?
B: I suppose. Hey, can we have sprinkles on our ice cream in that section?
R: Um…why don’t I tone down some of that boyish charm first…
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