Raine's Secret Garden

Dear I.E.:

Dear Internal Editor~~

I know we’ve had our differences, and I know I’m not your favorite person in the world right now.
But I’m pleading with you. Please come back.

You have every right to be upset with me. I’m flighty. Stubborn. Unreasonable. And yes, unfaithful. I’ll desert you for the hot hand, fall into the arms of the rogue fast draft for weeks at a time. I confess—I’ve been his whore. I’ll lie in his bed, relish the quickies, let him use me any way he will, pull all-nighters, humping away at his command. Anything to get what I need from him, as long as it’s passionate, in the moment, hard-driving and rough.

But I always come back to you. You know I always will.

I haven’t been able to reach you since I returned from my last fling. You’re not returning my calls. You can’t do this! I need you!

Please come back…be stern with me once again.
I keep your whip on my nightstand, and your thesaurus beneath my pillow.


Category: Regards, Raine — Raine @ 2:30 am ·   Comments (12)

12 Responses to “Dear I.E.:

  1. Bernita says:

    What a priceless metaphor!
    I.E left?
    Girl, you’re in trouble.
    Mine, now, is a perennial voyeur. Always leering from the side-lines when I want a fling.

  2. BernardL says:

    LOL! Mine insists on an active threesome. :)

  3. Raine says:

    He’s left me wallowing in the gutter, Bernita. Not offering so much as a spelling correction. :sad:

  4. Raine says:

    Mine insists on an active threesome.

    Bernard, you’re a lucky man! :wink:

  5. Mine won’t leave for a minute. It refuses to be ignored. :/

  6. Sunny Lyn says:

    bwaahaaa – lol

    Maybe that’s my problem – I’m not as nice as you are.

  7. Ann says:

    I think my IE ran away with my plot. :yesyesyes:

  8. vanessa jaye says:

    lol. You’re too funny, Raine!

    Mine’s just squats on the pot, but won’t (give a) crap.

  9. Raine says:

    Jordan, you need to teach him a lesson.
    A drunken dalliance with a pointless piece of crap manuscript or two will do. :yesyesyes:

  10. Raine says:

    Maybe that’s my problem – I’m not as nice as you are.

    Sunny, you just have yet to find yourself in the hands of the right sweet poppa. :smokin:

  11. Raine says:

    I think my IE ran away with my plot.

    Ann, you must persuade him, ever so gently, to return with plot in hand. You don’t want him whispering it in anyone else’s ear, leaving you to see your plot written by someone else hitting the best-seller list. I don’t keep bail money anymore. :nonono:

  12. Raine says:

    Vanessa—LMAO!! :lmao:
    An anal-retentive I.E… :shock: